My Family

My Family Sucks!

My dad is a crook, selling faulty cars at ridiculous prices. He uses super super glue to put fallen-off bumpers onto broken-down cars, puts sawdust into the engines to keep them quiet and then sells the cars at HUGE prices, like $18800!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mum is a fake, selfish person, who has no intelligence whatsoever and plays bingo all day. Whenever my dad makes money from selling stolen cars, she spends it all on hair lotions and accessories! I can barely stand her.

My brother is a selfish pig, who loves to scoff down food like a disgusting little slug. He loves to bully and tease me, but I ignore him. He is a coward, and is so thick and stupid. I hate him.

I don't belong with my family. Maybe I was adopted! Maybe, at the hospital, there was a switch and my unfortunate actual family got Mr and Mrs Wormwood's baby! I don't feel like I belong in this family. I am so different! They all love to watch television, gorge themselves on fatty, unhealthy food and be revolting pigs. I love to learn, to discover, to have fun and to read. We are just too different!